We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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