i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
