if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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