About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
