BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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