you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
