They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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