You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
