Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
