so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
