lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
