You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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