Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
