The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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