just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
