I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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