I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
