I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
