i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
