Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
