Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Randomize
