dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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