wakey wakey hands off snakey
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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