so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
