I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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