At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
