Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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