it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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