Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
