ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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