I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
