Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
ugly people sure do ruin things
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
