once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
