is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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