he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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