accomplished twins. life is a go
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
