Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
