Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
