But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
