I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
