Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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