Yo dont text me then not text me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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