Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
