i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
