He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
