i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
