my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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