Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
