I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
