It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
