i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
