Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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