he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
