There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
