It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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