At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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