I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize