no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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