his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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