how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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